That night I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so I paid a middle of the night visit upstairs to Samuel. He looked like he was doing great. I just stood there for a while staring and thinking, "You are born, you are my son, I am your mother" over and over again. Three days later I was still in shock that all this has happened.
That morning when I woke up I walked upstairs to visit Samuel again. I hadn't been discharged from the hospital yet and I had the morning to just relax before family came by. Once they came by though we spent most of our time in my room downstairs. At the NICU they don't like too many people visiting in the room at a time and we had quite a few people over. That afternoon we were supposed to be going to small group (which Ben leads currently) and due to the baby, the small group convinced him not to have it, instead they came and visited me!
We had a good time visiting with my family that came out and with any visitors that dropped by. We would make occasional visits up to the NICU. Samuel's status didn't really change at all either. So we gave thanks for the fact that they were able to make him stable on the machines they had on him.
Daniel, my brother, had a lot of fun taking pictures and videos with his fancy camera. He takes quite the photos! He also gave Ben and I the second picture that he wanted to give us for Christmas, but hadn't arrived by the time we saw him. He had taken a picture out at Camp Luther where we got engaged and then another one of the two of us at Ivannacone (sp.??) in Lincoln, NE. They were printed on a canvas which we'll be hanging in our house soon.
After everyone left to go to their own homes Ben and I went upstairs to visit Samuel for a while before leaving the hospital. When we left it all just felt very surreal. It felt wrong going home without our baby, but Ben was with me and that strengthened me.
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